Why I Love Writing Romance, Even Though I’m Not About that Life

Okay, it’s not that I’m not into romance, I’m just not the romantic type. It literally makes me uncomfortable, at least when it comes to receiving gifts or any gestures that is perceived to be romantic, such as candlelit dinners for two where we both pretend not to know that one of us farts out loud for fun.

I just don’t know how to react to it, the act of romance, not the farting.

I have never cried at a wedding, not even for my own vows which is what leads me to think that I might be broken. Figuratively and maybe a little literally. It’s not that I don’t feel love. I just find the act of romance a little performative meaning, there’s a lot of acting and doing, but the actual romance part, tends to be shallow and more about the show than it is about the person giving and receiving it.

I don’t really read traditional Romance for that reason. Too many hearts beating and birds afluttering for me. I’m a little too hard-edged to enjoy that kind of fluff. I’m not averse to romance in books, however, so long as it’s about the characters falling in love and not so much about the Love. What is love after all, without people?

I feel like the retail powers that be capitalize on this need to “show” love in this manner and I have a hard time wrapping my mind around it.

My own feelings on romance is what inspired this latest Lovers to Romance Valentine’s novelette. The two main characters are horrible with men, but for one of them, Valentina Brooks, it’s by design. She’s not interested at all in finding love. Sex is all she requires. She’s cold at heart, but even then, it’s not like she has no idea what romance is supposed to feel like. Morgan, for all her desires to be loved and kept continues to land the worst men. None of them have ever treated her like the Lady she is and Valentina sets out to prove that she could out-romance all men after Morgan expresses her desire for it.

When I think about it, romance isn’t the problem really. It’s the blanket approach to it that I take issue with, not considering who the person is that you’re trying to romance. Gary Chapman, author of the Five Love Languages helped me realize I am not one who likes physical touch, (blame that on my daddy issues) or likes physical affection. I do respond to Acts of Service very well. Cook for me and serve it to me (candles can be included if the entire scene calls for it and a good music playlist will do the trick. No googly eyes or sexy voice though. I CAN’T. Lol!

While writing this story, I considered the fact that I have never really taken the reigns on romance. For once, I had to think up all the things I think would be “romantic” and it was interesting to see how much fun I had with it. Perhaps the issue isn’t romance, but lack of engagement in the process.

I love the idea of falling in love and being in love, so my stories will always have those elements.

What does romance look like for you?