02 Jan 2023 WIPS and Change Excite Me…
This is firstly a gratefulness post. Typically these year end submissions are goal oriented for the new year, full of hopes and dreams. I do have some new ones, and will be discussing what I’ve got in the works, but this year, I thought I’d share some things I’m grateful for instead and hope I don’t bore you too hard in the process, so here we go.
HEALTH
For all of the last five years, my eldest son has been sick and spent months at a time stuck to a hospital bed. This year, he spent no time in the hospital as doctors have finally been able to stabilize his condition. Health is such a major blessing you don’t realize it until you’re sick or a loved one falls ill. It was touch and go there for a while and he had gone through so much in his short life.
It’s a perspective I am grateful for. I see this life as the one opportunity I have to live it with purpose and meaning. It’s much too short not to live it on your terms, too short not to spend most of your time doing what you love and way too short not to spend it with those you love.
MY CREATIVE GIFT
I’ve always been kind of a weirdo and I’d blame my creativity for it. I lived in my head and sort of still do. The arts shaped me, but for a while, it meant that I couldn’t stay focused long enough to really become great at something and build a career from it.
I went to an art school, graduated with a fashion design degree and have worked as a dress designer, design assistant, graphic designer, and then a web designer for the last ten years.
But the one constant that has always been in my life is writing. I’d write poetry, had piles of journals, short stories I kept for my eyes only. I didn’t really try writing a story meant for publishing until two years ago and it’s been kind of a ride.
I chose a niche within a niche within a niche, black, lesbian romance and even though it’s a small slice of a big pie in the market, I love writing about love between women that look like me. It fulfills me in a way that I never expected so even when it’s hard to see making a real living from it for a while, I derive so much satisfaction from the emails, comments and reviews from you guys. It’s what keeps me motivated even when I show up as a blip in the radar. It’s hard work putting a story together that will entertain most people and I feel blessed to have this talent.
TIME FREEDOM
A creative career has allowed me to have a creative life. I’ve designed my days in a way that fulfills me and though that meant making certain sacrifices I hadn’t anticipated, it’s a life I love.
I wake everyday deciding what I’m going to do and who I’m going to spend it with. I homeschool my kids for that reason and I remind them almost everyday that they are some of the luckiest SOBs around. I often think about how much more time I’d have to myself if I could just send them off to school, but I know how I and many others have felt about traditional schooling and I just wanted something different for my kids. That was a personal choice, I know it’s not for everyone. I learned during the pandemic that some people don’t like their kids that much. 😂 I know it’s hard, but like I said, I’m a weirdo and I’ve raised three people I really like to hang out with. Before I know it, they’ll be off to college and I won’t know what to do with myself.
You don’t have to be rich or make a lot of money to live a great life. Being able to control where you are and what you do every day to me is a luxury and I’ve been intentional about that. It’s something I have never wanted to compromise on and as with anything you desire and set out to manifest, this is another blessing I am grateful for.
I’m hoping to manifest many other things, including a certified “real” best seller. I’ve learned they’re not all equal. Lol! I recognize it may happen in another genre. You just never know how your desires will unfold, but I’m setting my intentions here, writing them down because they say that’s what you should do. Here’s to making dreams come true!
GROWTH
I’ve learned a few things about myself on this writing journey and I’m surprised about all the ways it’s shaped me.
With 10 short stories, novellas and novels under my belt, it’s taken a lot of discipline I don’t readily have, tenacity, consistency and self learning to put out work I can be proud of (mostly). I look back on some of my earlier stuff and cringe.
Though I still struggle with time management and delivering a completely polished work from the first edition!!!… I know I do a really good job at stringing together a story most of my readers want to spend their time with. And I will only get better.
But I still struggle with an important aspect of being an author. Negative feedback.
I’ve always been very sensitive, especially as a child, so sensitive, I could take on someone else’s hurt as my own. I used to be made to feel badly about it, like there was something wrong with feeling as hard as I do and being ‘too sensitive’ meant I was just thin skinned and needed to learn how to ‘let things go.’
I could do with balancing out my feelings more, but writing and releasing books is akin to birthing a life, almost, and the more time spent on every creation, the more connected and sensitive I feel about it. So each review sways me in a way that can be unhealthy for me. It’s something I have been working on.
On my last book, When Dell Met Angel the first two reviews had the words “disappointed” in it.
As an empath, and people pleaser, that word would’ve sent me to bed for a day just a year ago. I could handle all kinds of other words, hate it, sucked ass, hot fire garbage…but disappointed? Oh my.
Am I really that sensitive?
Yes…yes I am.
I was answering a call from some of my readers so it was of most importance that I gave them what they hoped for so it was especially hard to think that I had failed everyone who spend their time and money with my work. I knew I had gone out of my way to give so much more. Yet because of those first two 3-star “disappointed” reviews, I questioned my skill and talent and thought, maybe I should go do something else with my life. The following reviews have been closer to what I hoped for, but it only honed in how much I still struggle with self confidence and my emotions.
So you might be thinking…why not just stop reading them fool??
And to that, I’ll say,
As an author, I am well aware that I won’t make everyone happy and this can be one of those “if the kitchen is too hot for you, get out!!” situations.
I read somewhere that reviews are not for the author. They are to help other readers decide. But I struggle with taking that mindset on. If I don’t pay attention to reviews, how do I know I’m putting out work that is worthy of your time? How do I not give more of what they want?
I write for myself because I love it, but I do write with the intention to impact my readers while entertaining. It’s how I consume things and in turn, I like to know when I have done that. So I will always read reviews. Just reading the few I get gives me the will to keep working on whipping these stories out. As for the negative reviews, I’m learning to see them as honest feedback that can guide me to improve my work where applicable.
I choose to be grateful for anyone who takes the time to read my books and leave their thoughts, good, bad or ugly.
GRATEFUL FOR YOU…
It’s been a journey, and the more I write, the more it impacts my life positively as a whole. I truly believe I am walking the path I was meant to and as I continue to work on my craft, I know it’s only up from here.
I didn’t know what to expect when I decided to start writing black lesbian fiction. I devoured what was out there and saw there was a huge space for more black lesbian love stories and despite zero marketing on my part and a couple of Instagram posts, you guys have given me your precious time and consumed my work consistently.
This last book unlocked a few new milestones for me and I’m just so motivated to give you more in 2023.
WIPS
When I first started out, I thought I wanted to be on the more salacious end of lesbian fiction, hence “lickherature,” but I think I’ve always focused way too much on character for that to be the case. I absolutely do love a well built character and that’s really what you get with my work. Sexy time is just a bonus and that is the place I’ll be writing from, building characters that make you feel, think, laugh or cry.
My books will also be on the longer side as I fulfill my desire to give you more. And I’d like this site to become a lot more informational, perhaps more of a hub for all things women, focusing on sapphic and women centered books, sexuality and love.
I realize a lot of this is very ambitious, especially with the amount of writing I plan to do. It will take a lot of…prioritizing. All I can do is try.
As for my books, here’s what you can look forward to in 2023!
V DAY III
Morgan and Tina are facing some major life changes. Tina herself is yes…still a work in progress. Because do we really change? Or are do we just exhibit less of our worst selves?
The nicer she gets the meaner the world seems and all her best efforts seem to be pointless. She’s still trying to make up for all her past faults, bending to Morgan’s needs at all turns, but how far can she bend before she breaks?
AT THE DEEP END: Dive Deep (final book)
Bri found her love for life, got the marriage and all that’s left is the baby carriage. Life seldom gives you everything you want, and it when it does, it doesn’t always come the way you expect it.
FLING – A romance
Still working out the kinks, but the title says it all…something about a luxury trip somewhere, and having a fling with a woman that doesn’t necessary remain a fling.
This ones my attempt at a “true” romance so I’m a little excited about that challenge
IRREPLACEABLE VOLUME II
Part II Of the Irreconcilable short story collection. Expect to see old friends and some new characters
STAR STUDDED STUDIOS
A group of sexy studs who dance for money while trying to find love, maintain toxic relationships and find themselves all while pursuing big dreams.
This is subject to the whims of my imagination. Which one of these are you excited about?
7
Princesse Prince
Posted at 19:50h, 01 FebruaryWhen is V day coming out?
Deja Elise
Posted at 19:54h, 01 FebruaryI’m hoping by the end of the month. Moving slower than I like, but soon!
Princesse Prince
Posted at 12:02h, 02 FebruaryNo rush. Don’t want to ruin the creative process but, we would greatly appreciate it, 😉 I read the prior 2 like 3x….I need more!
Deja Elise
Posted at 08:15h, 04 FebruaryLol! Yes! I’ve got you! I promise! 😅❤️